para engolir um amanhã

i sang too LOUD and cried so deeply...
was drunk. i was really drunk.
i don't even remember what did after, but had NO PAIN. i could spend all my life resting this way. (nothing could hurt me that moment)

i took some medicines. again. haha yeah, again. but this time just for fun, you know?
"if you wanna overpill yourself
remember that i love you"
didn't hear you. i took three of them with pure vodka. goddamn, pure!

they noticed. don't know how, but they tried to hide or throw out the bottles. you'll never know that i wouldn't do it again, dear family. i didn't did it cause i could be freaking out.
she didn't wake me up to school. no matter, i even don't like that.
(i think they're supposing that i'm going nuts)

i did nothing wrong, oh biggest lord. and i'm trying to fix everything. god, i needed drank to feel a minute of alive. something's wrong, huh?!

my heart still bleeds. i still have pain, and i'm still scared.
what you gonna do now, god?